Monday, April 25, 2011

Teen Bullying: My Confession

I saw this as a headline on CNN and had to respond...

^ Hearing stories like this disgusts me. I literally feel pain for these bullied kids with every inch of my body everytime I hear about stories like Haley and Paige's. I hate that they felt that there is no escape to the pain other than through suicide. No one should feel that way, but I can't deny that I didn't go through the same thing when I was their age.

This is going to be quite personal and I know that I am making myself quite vulnerable, but I'm hoping this will help those who feel helpless when they are being bullied...

I don't know where I got my strength to survive middle & high school, but I was very lucky... I was tricked, lied to, and betrayed by my "friends", had straight up lies spread about me to deteriorate my reputation, confidence, and any chance of having a real relationship with any one, I received multiple anonymous death threats, had vicious emails, nasty text messages, and gut wrenching AIM messages waiting to be read by me everyday, my house was egged, my car was keyed, there was even a hate website created about me, and then there was the constant verbal and emotional abuse at school and at my activities after school.

I don't know how I did it, but some how I survived and the abuse made me stronger. It made me realize that I'm a much better person than those who inflicted that pain on me and I'm sure on others. I didn't know those things at the time though. After a while I felt that I deserved to be treated this way because I was attacked every single day. I was practically blind.

The major things didn't stop until halfway through college, but now that it has slowed down I still am a bit sensitive and protective of myself with what people say to me, call me, etc, but I'm pretty sure that it's only natural to be sensitive after that. When the major bullying stopped I realized that what those "kids" put me through literally destroyed me, they had power over me, and I wasn't happy with who I was because of it. Now I am proud of sticking through it even during my darkest times, but then, I was not.

Now I'm going to be honest, and don't look at me differently because of what I'm going to say, but these stories of kids killing themselves because of the bullying doesn't surprise me at all... I wanted to kill myself when the abuse was at its peak, which of course had to be when my mom was diagnosed with cancer - the bullies had wonderful timing to catching a weak victim. Luckily, I found courage in myself that I wish those others had. I was in a deep depression and I wanted the pain to stop, but I was too scared to go through with it – thank goodness!

I realized that the thoughts I had weren't right and finally opened up to my parents. I was put on antidepressants at the age of 15, but should have been put on it at least a year before.NO ONE that young should have to be put on anti depressants. It wasn't until I was almost 21 when I stopped taking them on a daily basis because I was finally strong enough to get a grip on what happiness was. (I'd genuinely like to thank my friends from Disney Spring '09 for helping with that. They never really knew how much they actually helped me, but they really did. Now for those who make fun of my love for Disney... Now you know one of the reasons why I love that place so much.)

Even though I went through hell and back with this abuse while growing up, NEVER in my life would I ever do this or even wish to do this to another. After what I went through, there was no way in hell I'd want make someone feel that way. Even when meanest of things were happening to me I didn't want those doing it to me feel that way. (well sorta lol) I did honestly hate them, but I mostly wished that they'd some how learn their lesson, but to wish for them to go through this too... No. They probably already were maybe at home or at school and I happened their target to make them feel better. It's a vicious cycle that I chose to put a stop to. If you're a victim of bullying please do the same and end it rather than passing it on to someone else.

The bullying in my life has yet to cease, but I can take it much better now since it is less threatening and a little more "innocent" I guess you can say. I have been happily off antidepressants for 2 years and haven't relapsed and I don't plan to. I no longer receive death threats and that "Annie Webpage" (the hate website about me) was taken down many years ago, but the name calling, the criticizing, and these "jokes" that people think are SO hilarious are not nice either, but you can't expect everything to be happy go lucky. I'm just glad that the worst of it is over. And just an FYI, the jokes and name calling are still a form of bullying no matter what age you are.

I hope that by reading this maybe you'll understand why I am the person I am today BUT most importantly and my whole reason for writing this is if you're one of those being bullied, there is an escape and it's not suicide. Rely on your family and those who you truly trust. They will help you, but don't assume they know that you need them, you must tell them that you want their help. Stay positive, realize how beautiful you really are, and how much potential you have. Set goals for yourself, be excited for what's ahead. Don't dwell on the past and don't let the the pain of the present pull you down. Think of what's ahead of you. It may take a while, but I promise you that you'll see the light, just like I did.

If you see someone being bullied - Protect Them.

If you see/know someone who is bullying another - Stop Them.

If you know someone who's a victim of bullying - Help Them.

Please help me and others put an end to bullying & support the National Bullying Prevention Center:

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Day 25: Favorite Activity Outside of the Park, But Still on Disney Property

I think that my only options are Downtown Disney and the water parks. I love how much fun the water parks are, but even while I’m having a blast there, I still think about all of the germs in the water and everywhere else in the water parks. I know germs are everywhere blah blah blah, but I feel like it’s worse when people are running around barefoot… ew lol (sorry for being OCD)

So I definitely pick Downtown Disney.

I love the atmosphere! If you just want a chill day, but still with a bit of Disney Magic Downtown Disney is your place. Great food, awesome stores, and a few things to do that’s fun like La Nouba, Disney Quest, Characters in Flight, and AMC Theatres. I’ve only done Disney Quest and AMC so my upcoming program I’m determined to do Characters in Flight & La Nouba before my program is done. =)

Oh! & I’m looking forward to the newest additions to DTD because it’ll have more bars and I think it’ll be more fun. =)

Friday, March 4, 2011

Day 24: Favorite Face Character

Tiana & Naveen... Seriously. They are the most beautiful face characters I have ever met!! Most characters look nothing like who they are portraying, but these guys look like they came right out of the movie! GORGEOUS!!!!!!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Day 23: Scariest Ride

It really takes a lot to scare me on a ride, but this one really scares the SH!T out of me...


Holy Moly! That's ride scares the crap out of me everytime!! (can't you tell? I'm the one in the middle hunched over freaking out LOL)
I know when what is going to happen and such but I think the lack of support & the feeling of almost falling out of the car, the extremely loud sound effects, & stuff jumping out at me are the reasons why I get a mild heart attack every time.
Fall CP Roomies, you can quote me on this... I'm willing to go on it ONCE with my Fall CP roommates on the program, but that is it. No more after that haha

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Day 22: Favorite Parade

Main Street Electrical Parade Duhhhh!!!

The vibrant colors are so magical as they twinkle and the talking & dancing characters... LOVE IT ALL!!! (well the last float is a bore. Not very great way to end the parade I'm just like "uhhh that's it?" yea that part is super lame lol) But this parade brings back many memories and a HUGE smile to my face! =D

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Day 21: Favorite Character to See

First, sorry for the color change... This thing was being so weird & wont show it properly for me =(

Day 21: Favorite Character to See

ARIEL!!!! She's my favorite Princess, but every time I have met Ariel, she was butt ass ugly and didn't look anything like how she did in the movie so she didn't seem as magical... Hmm I guess maybe not Ariel, but she is still my favorite Princess. She did tell me though that we could be sisters because my hair was a little red when I met her for the first time.... That made me giggle. =)

Hmmm.... I GOT IT!!!!!!
Every time I meet this character I am beaming with happiness, bouncing up and down when I'm in line, and I most definitely can't stop smiling, it's like I am like a little kid in line waiting to meet a character for the first time. Now this character is VERY special to me. They remind me of my amazing childhood and my successes in many different things, specifically in music. Let me introduce....

(yes I am doing one of those things you'd usually see in the "wish" section of chain mail hahahaha)


He reminds me of all the classic Disney shows I would watch as a kid, the beautiful Fantasia, I think he even inspired me a little bit to be field commander in High School (not the actual inspiration, but something unconsciously in the back of my mind since I was amazed with his conducting as a kid) and when my sorority won overall best performance for Spring Sing, when I was the spring sing director, one of my best friends at the time got me a beautiful Sorcerer Mickey "trophy" for the win.
Mickey's love for music definitely was a part of my love too since that is what I grew up with. Thank you Mickey Mouse for the love for music and for everything else that you have taught me especially the facts that dreams really can come true! =)
(I'm so cheesy... haha see what I did there... Cheesy. Mickey Mouse... Please laugh at that haha)

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Day 20: Favorite Walt Disney World Dessert

Well this is easy! I already answered this a couple blogs ago haha!! 'Ohanas delicious bread pudding with vanilla ice cream and caramel banana topping is seriously heaven sent. I was scared to try it at first 'cause it looked so, well, not normal, but the second I put a little spoonful in my mouth I've been hooked! I get random cravings for it, which is not good haha I wish I could cook cause I would totally try to make this!
ℒℴνℯ Ohanas!!!

To Audition or Not to Audition? That is the question!

Disney Entertainment Auditions Are Coming Up!!!!!!!! I'm excited, but also heartbroken because one of my dreams will never come true... I think I'm gonna have to pass on the auditions because of the continued back pain. The dancing for the auditions may seem easy and simple but the slightest turn can make my back go whack...
So this past Tuesday I twisted my back when I slipped on ice. Ever since then my back has been causing me major problems...
I went into a back spasm picking up a paper plate (no lie) on Wednesday, went into another back spasm last night (Friday) when giving my 6 pound dog a bath, and the muscles have been occasionally twitching at random times of the day all week.
My lumbar (where my herniated discs are - L4 & L5 specifically) has been KILLING me non stop since Tuesday. Now don't get me wrong, I'm use to chronic pain in my back. Yes it hurts all the time, but I've had issues for years now so I'm use to the constant pain. However, I have been in tears for the past week from this constant lever 8-10 pain when I'm use to 6. (on a scale of 10, 10 being worse pain ever)
For a month now my back has been in more pain than usual, but there's nothing I can do since I don't have insurance. Hopefully, if the health bill doesn't get repealed by heartless dicks, I will have insurance again starting in March YAY for being a person who cares about the well being of others! (but that's another topic. I'll save that for a different blogging day) So because of my back I think I'm gonna have to not go to the Disney entertainment audition and go see a couple doctors that day. I'll see my doctor so she knows what's going on and also see an orthopedist. We'll see...
I'm excited for my deep tissue massage today!!!! =) Hopefully that'll help with my muscles. (I'm suppose to get a deep tissues massage bi-weekly, but the insurance I had only considers massages leisure and not medical. Pfft! When I found out about my back situation in october of '09 I was prescribed for the bi-weekly deep tissue massages, physical therapy, and chiropractic care. The chiropractor that I saw said that I'm probably going to have to have surgery in 10 years for my 2 discs (FML) That'll be so great! (can you sense the sarcasm?) He as well as a couple other doctors told me that I shouldn't lift anything heavier than 10 pounds cause my discs can bust & I would need emergency surgery. --> So when I tell you I can't lift something, it's not because I'm lazy, it's because I don't want to have surgery before expected.
Well anyways I'll stop bitching, but when you're in a high level of pain for more than a couple days you're bound to just ramble & bitch more than usual right? haha Thanks for putting up with me. Love you all (if anyone actually read this, which I doubt, but if you did I'd love to know. Comment below even if it's just a smiley face or a hello, it's just nice to know that I'm not talking to the black hole of the internet lol)
Love you all & I truly hope none of you have to experience this!!

Friday, February 25, 2011

Day 19: Least Favorite Attraction

I thought this would be hard, but I realllly hate the Stitch's Great Escape attraction. No seriously, It's SO DUMB! lol I don't have anything nice to say about it. I mean, it's a cute concept, but I don't like Stitch the character anyways so I guess that doesn't help either HA! I think that's the only thing I don't like at Disney. Weird that I would not like something huh?? It's weird for me too LOL

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Day 18: The Attraction You Want Disney To Bring Back

Okay I have 1 and a half lol You'll soon understand what I mean.


I LOVED this as a kid! My mother hated it cause she thought it was a rough ride, but I had a blast with it. I also felt like I was a student on the Magic School Bus on the episode when they shrank themselves to go into a body. I thought that was so cool! I love learning and having fun! It's a shame that they took down =(

The half would be that I'd like for them to bring back would be the old Imagination. (I consider this half since the ride is still there, it's just the horrible upgraded one)
I REALLY HATE the new one of Imagination and I'm sad that the fun room with the glowing lights on the cool carpet is gone. It was a room you can go to that was near the gift shop you walked into after the ride. I LOVED jumping on the moving lights as a kid and doing all those fun things. Oh to be a kid in the 90's again...

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Day 17: Favorite Restaurant on Disney Property


'Ohana is not only my favorite restaurant on property, but EVER!!
The appetizers are delicious and never ending, the entrée meats (especially the shrimp) are perfectly cooked and flavorful, the drinks are perfectly mixed and made a little stronger than the average bar drink, and the dessert is seriously to die for.
Ahhhhh!!! I have been there 6-8 times since early 2009 (I can't keep count any more). Yea you can say I'm obsessed haha I love that food so much that I've actually eaten so many shrimp in one setting that the chef wanted to meet me! hahaha
I love that the food is all you can eat, but isn't buffet style so all sorts of hands with millions of germs touching the scoops that will always end up in the food. You don't have to deal with that, the waiters, aka your cousins, bring it out to you.
I LOVED it when I went with some of my best friends during spring break last year (2010) and we could see the fireworks from where we were sitting. We started to cry like babies and laughing at the same time 'cause we were also trying to eat haha That was a great memory, especially since the first time I went was with them =) I blame them, and a few others, for getting me hooked lol ::points fingers at Sarah, Marissa, Eashley::
So yea, I can't wait to go back in August. I'm ready to make a reservation right now! And I HIGHLY RECOMMEND everyone to do the same when they go on their next vacation to Disney. =)

Dessert: Bread Pudding w/ Vanilla Ice Cream & Banana Caramel Topping

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Day 16: Favorite Snack to Grab in the Parks

Okay, Okay, Okay, I missed a day... Again I'm sorry haha But here's Day 16...

Favorite Snack has to be the POPCORN!!!!! Well first off the smell of it is like an orgasm in the nose! Seriously! It's AMAZZZZIIINNNGGGG. I ALWAYS want to get the popcorn, but sadly it's a bit pricy (along with everything else at Disney) BUT it's super yummy!!! I recommend it to those who have never had it. It never fails to bring a smile to my face and satisfaction to my tummy.

I also realllllly enjoy the churros, you know the thing that the Buddy Boyle form Monsters Inc Laugh Floor says that someone is buying for all of us? Yeah, I've been there a lot can't you tell? haha anyways, I had my very first churro at Disney and ohhhh myyy that was nomalicious (like nom nom meaning yummy but nom + delicious = nomalicious) haha yea forgive the weirdness

So Popcorn & Churros. Those are my favs. When you go to Disney get both, enjoy, & think of me. =P



Let's Do The Twist...

Oh jeez... I knew today was gonna be another "one of those days" the minute I A) put my shirt on backwards & B) put my pantyhose on backwards... Once I fixed those little mix ups I walked out to my car and slipped on a huge patch of black ice on the driveway. When that happened I twisted my back & pinched one of my bulging discs (there goes my HealthPlex plans for the day). Then I tried to open my car doors, but they were completely frozen shut & refuses to open.

Now I'm on the couch with a heating pad on my throbbing back refraining from crying cause I pinched a disc. Okay week, please be over with already, I'm not fond of these games you're playing on me.

Monday, February 21, 2011

OCD or should it be CDO?

You know those days when you feel like shit, everything seems to be going wrong, you almost get into a couple car accidents because of stupid drivers, and things aren't going as planned. Yea, today was my day for that.

I'll skip all the bad shit cause I don't feel like being a negative nelly at the moment. My favorite part of the evening was about 8pm when my family knocked that shitty feeling out of my system when we were just talking about our quirks. Everyone has something odd about them, if you're a Stackpole though, there's definitely more than one. My major quark is the fact that I have OCD.

Now you may be thinking "OMG does she have the flick the lights 5 times before she enters a room or wash her hands three times before she leaves the bathroom" well for one thing, I don't use the light if I don't need to (HELLLOOO Save Energy = Save Earth!) and another thing, I wash my hands long enough for it to be three times so no, I don't do that either LOL I have an obsession with even numbers, everything being perfectly balanced, and only taking two steps between cracks in a side walk. (That's just the small stuff) lol

Annnyways, I have officially come to the conclusion that I do, in fact, have OCD. It's not a severe case, not a super mild case either, just an average amount that can drive anyone crazy, but not psycho. lol (& No I don't need therapy for this.) You with me? lol Okay moving on, so my mom explained that she had the same thing until she went to seminary at the age that I am now, but uhh yea instead of it disappearing for me it's become worse than before. I sure wish my mom remembered how she got rid of hers! I'd like to know the trick!

So that was fun frying my dads brain because he didn't know this OCD side of my mother. They've known each other for 29/30ish years? Well either way that's a long time and he said he never knew this about her haha It was funny seeing his jaw drop. After talking about OCD my mom randomly started talking in a language her friends in HS use to speak in when people were around. For example apparently she said this a lot "Tong O Dong Dong Fong A Rong Tong Song" which means "Todd Farts" (Todd was one of her friends who understood the language and apparently they picked on him about farting alot? Haha I don't know, but if you say it out loud it sounds like a language from an Asian background. (no offense) Go ahead, say it out loud, I know you're tempted to. Wanna say something other than "Todd Farts" well here: the consonants are "ong" and the vowels are just normal so if you want to say "Hello" it would be "Hong E Long Long O" HAHAHA I told you that us Stackpole's are weird. =) (I wouldn't want it any other way though)

After that little bit I started talking in pig latin and the rest joined in. It was quite a fun night. I'm glad I have them when I need them. My day up until that point wasn't fun, but they sure did help put a smile on my face before I went to bed. =)

So my question for you... What's your quark? Do you have OCD? Did you speak a made up language with your friends when you were younger? Anything more bizarre?? More importantly, did I freak you out with my odd family? haha I'd LOVE to know. Give me the deets!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Day 15: Favorite Walt Disney World Resort

Now this is tough. It’s a tie between three: the Grand Floridian, Coronado Springs & the Polynesian Resort.

Both resorts are gorgeous... The beds at Coronado Springs are like sleeping on a cloud, sadly the Poly isn’t as comfortable, but the room at the Poly has more of a theme to it.

Both resorts have amazing pools, but what makes the Poly beat Coronado is the fact that my favorite place to eat in the world (‘Ohana) is there.

I LOVE ‘Ohanas and I love the ambiance of the Poly. The waterfalls inside and outside of the resort are beautiful and relaxing and the beach is so amazing. You can see the castle from across the water as well as the beautiful Grand Floridian Resort and the Modern Contemporary Resort & Bay Lake Tower. My favorite part is that you can watch the fireworks & hear the music of the fireworks show from the beach. It’s truly magical!

Lastly, I worked there for a week so I know the ins and outs of the resort more than I do of Coronado, plus all of my memories at the Poly are positive ones and I will leave that at that haha =)

Sooooo Polynesian I You!!!

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Day 14: Favorite Animal Kingdom Attraction

Expedition Everest. DUHHHH!!

A) It’s a roller coaster

B) It goes backwards

C) It goes fast

D) It has some awesome drops

E) It has a great theme to it

And Lastly

F) There’s a Freakin’ Yeti!!

I don't know why there's weird spacing going on it wont go away no matter what I do =( haha oh well

Friday, February 18, 2011

Day 13: Favorite Animal Kingdom Area

Short & Sweet Answer: Africa!

Kilimanjaro Safari & Kali River Rapids are pretty fun, and the plant lady is there too! Overall, the atmosphere of that area is great! I truly feel like I’m in Africa, well if I knew what being in Africa was like that is haha =)

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Day 12: Favorite Hollywood Studios Attraction

Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster … DUH!!!!!!

I worked there for 4 months & didn’t get sick of it! Now that is magic! Haha I’m positive that I have been on that ride at LEAST 100 times during my time there. I rode it once or twice every day that I worked and then on my days off I usually went to Studios and rode Coaster hmmm… somewhere between 3-6 times because people would let me re-ride. Yea, that was pretty sweet.

Also, I made some of the most amazing friends ever while working here. I met my wifey, my "fiancé", my crazy day 1 trainer who taught me nothing the first day =P (Tim) lol, some of my best friends. I Love & Miss my friends & that life so much! Hopefully I’ll have as much fun on my fall disney college program as I did on my first!


Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Day 11: Favorite Hollywood Studios Area

Okay, Okay, Okay, I know I was a bit of a slacker, but I went to Buckhannon for the weekend & kept on forgetting to post a new entry, but I'm back & am starting where I left off....

Day 11: Favorite Hollywood Studios Area

Sunset Boulevard!!!!!!! It is absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!!!! ♥♥

This place is my home. I’m pretty sure I said this earlier, but I thoroughly enjoyed the nights that I would work at Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster & all of the guests were gone, but the lights were on and the big band music was blasting in the air. I felt like I was in the 40’s at an abandoned, but well kept area. I still love it to this day and will until I die. It seriously has the most amazing ambiance at night. It also has the best rides in the park & an amazing night show Fantasmic!

Friday, February 11, 2011

Day 10: Favorite Attraction in the World Showcase

My favorite attraction in the World Showcase is of course Maelstrom in Norway. There are only 2 rides to pick from, the mini boat ride in Mexico and the Maelstrom, a more log flumey ride. Of course I’ll pick the Maelstrom!

It's not only a wonderful memory of when I was a child riding the ride and being excited to see the trolls, it also makes me think of my roommate from my Summer Alumni in 2010. The Maelstrom was most definitely her favorite ride, but Norway looks pretty so why not enjoy the ride while visiting that country in EPCOT right?? ;)

Anyways, you have my answer & my photo. Enjoy.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Day 9: Favorite attraction in Futureworld

I have a short & sweet answer to this...

Soarin’ Over California. Definitely. It’s adventurous, beautiful, & something unlike everything else. I love it! ♥