Saturday, February 26, 2011

To Audition or Not to Audition? That is the question!

Disney Entertainment Auditions Are Coming Up!!!!!!!! I'm excited, but also heartbroken because one of my dreams will never come true... I think I'm gonna have to pass on the auditions because of the continued back pain. The dancing for the auditions may seem easy and simple but the slightest turn can make my back go whack...
So this past Tuesday I twisted my back when I slipped on ice. Ever since then my back has been causing me major problems...
I went into a back spasm picking up a paper plate (no lie) on Wednesday, went into another back spasm last night (Friday) when giving my 6 pound dog a bath, and the muscles have been occasionally twitching at random times of the day all week.
My lumbar (where my herniated discs are - L4 & L5 specifically) has been KILLING me non stop since Tuesday. Now don't get me wrong, I'm use to chronic pain in my back. Yes it hurts all the time, but I've had issues for years now so I'm use to the constant pain. However, I have been in tears for the past week from this constant lever 8-10 pain when I'm use to 6. (on a scale of 10, 10 being worse pain ever)
For a month now my back has been in more pain than usual, but there's nothing I can do since I don't have insurance. Hopefully, if the health bill doesn't get repealed by heartless dicks, I will have insurance again starting in March YAY for being a person who cares about the well being of others! (but that's another topic. I'll save that for a different blogging day) So because of my back I think I'm gonna have to not go to the Disney entertainment audition and go see a couple doctors that day. I'll see my doctor so she knows what's going on and also see an orthopedist. We'll see...
I'm excited for my deep tissue massage today!!!! =) Hopefully that'll help with my muscles. (I'm suppose to get a deep tissues massage bi-weekly, but the insurance I had only considers massages leisure and not medical. Pfft! When I found out about my back situation in october of '09 I was prescribed for the bi-weekly deep tissue massages, physical therapy, and chiropractic care. The chiropractor that I saw said that I'm probably going to have to have surgery in 10 years for my 2 discs (FML) That'll be so great! (can you sense the sarcasm?) He as well as a couple other doctors told me that I shouldn't lift anything heavier than 10 pounds cause my discs can bust & I would need emergency surgery. --> So when I tell you I can't lift something, it's not because I'm lazy, it's because I don't want to have surgery before expected.
Well anyways I'll stop bitching, but when you're in a high level of pain for more than a couple days you're bound to just ramble & bitch more than usual right? haha Thanks for putting up with me. Love you all (if anyone actually read this, which I doubt, but if you did I'd love to know. Comment below even if it's just a smiley face or a hello, it's just nice to know that I'm not talking to the black hole of the internet lol)
Love you all & I truly hope none of you have to experience this!!


Kristin said...

:) now you know. Lol

Even though it sucks I think that's the right decicion. I know that the smallest things can trigger your back pain. Also, emergency surgery is a bad bad idea. That's what happened with dad. The disc exploded and caused him to be paralyzed. Not a good thing!!!! Be safe and smart.
You can always dress up for Halloween or maybe a charity event? Idk. Lol but! You are going to live a dream when you're living there!!!:)<3

Rachel__88 said...

Thanks Kristen. I feel the same way, it's just difficult when your friends are like "Yes You Should Do It!" regardless of my back and of course my dream to do it, but I'd rather not put myself at risk to become paralyzed by rupturing a disc. I actually dreamt that last night that I fell really hard on a sidewalk outside of work and was temporarily paralyzed, but it was scary!! This probably ends my love of riding thrill rides too doesn't it?? fooey!

Rachel__88 said...

Wait... Which Kristin am I talking to? LOL
Sorry, I know so many! lol I do appreciate your feedback no matter which Kristin you are, I just want to put a face to the name lol